Cabin Fever
by Kyizi
Summary: When Lita and her friends agree to go to a cabin for a short break with some of the guys, things get a little...interesting.
1. Chapter 1

**Cabin Fever**

**By Kyizi**

**Disclaimer:** The WWE and all related items do not belong to me; only the story is mine. No copyright infringement intended.

**Rating:** 12A/PG-13

**Distribution:** Please ask.

**Pairings:** TBC

**Spoilers: **All Lita storyline is fair game.

**Feedback: **Please, it makes me smile :)

**Notes:** This is a response to Karen U's 'Firefly Quotes Challenge', which stated the following:

Pairings possibilities:

Lita - Christian, Jericho, Cena, HBK, Orton, Batista

Lilian - Cena, Christian, Jericho, Batista, RVD, Orton, Benoit

Other divas and pairings are up to the author, but no Trish/Jericho.

The other requirement was, of course, to use a minimum of five of the stated Firefly quotes. I'm gonna see if I can get most of them in:p

xxxxx

**Part One**

xxxxx

Lita frowned and looked into the mirror, a curious pout coming to her face. She turned and called out to her friends. "Well," she asked, "what do you think?"

Dawn just raised her eyebrows, whilst Lilian tried not to laugh.

"That hat makes you look like an idiot."

She turned to face the man, scowling. "Did I ask you?" she demanded, crossing her arms over her chest.

"No, seriously," he said, his mouth twitching. "You gotta…I'm sorry, I just can't…" He reached out and plucked the hat from her head as Lilian and Dawn began to laugh behind her.

"Will you please _not_ humour him," she said in askance as she turned to face her friends. They were clutching at each other and trying not to fall over. She rolled her eyes and turned back to him. "Is there any reason you're in the _women's section_ of the store, Cena?" she said, raising an eyebrow. "Is this a secret fetish of yours?"

"Oh, it's not a secret," Dave Batista said, joining them. "He's been proud of it for years." John took a swipe at him, but the other man merely cocked an eyebrow at him in a look that clearly said, 'Don't make me eat your face'.

"What am I looking at, the girls or the clothes?"

Lita rolled her eyes yet again as Randy Orton suddenly appeared beside them, looking at the clothes almost as if he were afraid they might suddenly hold a gun to his head and demand he wear them.

"I think you have a problem with your brain being missing."

"Wow, someone's feeling catty today," Randy said, refocusing his attention. "You forget to take your medication this morning, Lita?"

"Did you forget what gender you were this morning, Orton?"

"Hey, this was Cena's idea. He saw you all and thought it might be an idea to come say hi. Gee, I wonder what part of him thought you might _not _act like a little bitch."

"Hey! I have an idea," Lilian said, stepping between them. "Why don't we all try not to kill each other."

"I have a better idea," Dawn said with a smirk. "I'll go buy popcorn and we can watch and see how long it takes until Lita to castrate them all."

"Oh, I don't want to murder, Dave," Lita said, smiling up at the man. "He's nice."

"And what am I," John asked, "chopped liver?"

"Dude," Randy said, eyeing the redhead carefully, "Don't give her ideas. I don't want her chopping _anything_."

Lita's lips twitched and, eventually, she gave in and joined in with the laughter.

"Well, wha'd'ya know," John said with a smirk. "It smiles."

"Did you have a reason for accosting us in a store, Cena?"

"I accosted ya? Don' remember that. You mind if I refresh my memory?"

"Yes," Randy said, "now that she's no longer looking at us like she's about to kill us, lets piss her off again."

"There will be no bloodshed," Lilian stated. "It was bad enough trying to get the blood out of the carpet last time Jericho insulted her. This might not be my house, but I refuse to help pay for any damaged goods." The ring announcer crossed her arms over her chest and glared at her friend.

"I'm sorry, bloodshed?" Randy asked, looking at Lita warily.

"He deserved it, Lilian, and you know it."

"My carpet did not! It was a new and _white_ and new and did I mention _white_?"

"Remind me never to piss you off again, Red," John said with a smile.

"If you need reminding there's something wrong with you," Dawn pointed out. "The only reason she didn't decapitate you when you stole her donut last week was because Hunter refused to give her his sledgehammer."

"He said he'd bring a spare for me this week," Lita said sweetly.

"Just, please, remember that I have no input into what I say to you on TV," John said, instantly hating himself for even mentioning it. A shadow passed across her face and he sighed. "You okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" she asked defensively. "Just another week of 'slut' chants, what could I possibly have to be _not_ okay about?"

Dawn hit him.

"Damn, woman, that hurt!"

"You're an ass. The whole reason for this trip was to get her mind off the stupid show and you just had to open your mouth." She swung on Randy before he'd even opened his mouth fully. "And you, no pervy comments until I've at least had my sixth cup of coffee and am ready to keep up with you."

Randy pursed his lips, clearly trying to abide by her wishes. He dropped his head onto his chest, crossed his arms, and looked at her through lowered lashes.

"Okay," she said, letting out a breath, "that's kinda hot, where's the nearest Starbucks?"

They all laughed, relieved that the tension had been broken. They stood in silence, not quite sure what to do next. Finally Dave broke the silence.

"Hey, listen," he said, catching everyone's attention. "We're all free 'til Monday, right?" When everyone nodded, he smiled. "The reason we came over was to see if the three of you want to join us for the rest of the week. We're headed out to my cabin in about two hours. It's a short drive and we can be back for our flights on Sunday night. You're all flying out from here, right?"

Again, they all nodded, but no one spoke.

"Come on," John said, smiling at Lita. "What do you say? Almost a week; we can see if you manage to kill me before or after Dawn and Randy get down and dirty with it."

"Come on," Dave said, surprising her with a wink. "It could be fun and you could use a break."

"You're right," Lita said softly. "I could use a break." She turned to her friends, both of whom nodded, clearly liking the idea. "Okay," she said. "Count us in."

"It'll be fun," Lilian said, smiling. "We might even all survive."

"After all," Dawn said with a smirk. "What could possibly happen in a week?"

xxxxx

**End of Part One**

xxxxx

I have _no_ idea where the heck this is going! It's the first time I've tried to write John in a 'fun' fic, so it could be interesting.

I've not decided what I want the pairings to be yet, so help me choose?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes:** Holy Cow! I so didn't expect such a warm welcome for this one! ;) So glad you like this!

xxxxx

**Part Two**

xxxxx

She was tired, cramped, and grumpy and she hadn't had any coffee. They hit another bump and the car swayed from side to side. She growled.

"Remind me again why we agreed to this."

Lilian laughed. "Because you think Randy Orton is hot?"

"He's, like, ten years younger than her," Lita pointed out sleepily.

"Like that's an issue," Dawn said, sighing and leaning back into the chair. "He's hot and I wouldn't say no." The car jerked and a bag smacked her on the back of the head. "Oh my God, will you drive better! Why did Li get to ride shotgun? I want to be in the front _not _having luggage give me a concussion every ten minutes!"

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning," Lilian said with a smile.

"Waking up would involve getting some sleep!" Dawn cried, her arms flapping about in a gesture of annoyance. "And I can't even claim sex! Sex would be good, but, nope, not me, I get to spend the night with Maria who's crying her eyes out because that stupid boyfriend of hers dumped her. _Again_. They'll be back together, as _always_, by the end of the week and Ria will be getting regular sex again, but me? Nope, not me." She pouted. "I think I must be growing unattractive. I don't feel particularly dirty or girlish at the moment."

Lita repressed a smile and looked back at her. "You're far from unattractive, you're just tired, sweetie. We'll get you coffee the minute we arrive. In fact, if you really want, I'll call the guys and make sure there's some ready and waiting."

Dawn looked at her with a puppy dog expression on her face. "Really?"

"Really."

"Okay."

Lilian snorted. "You really need to get laid, Dawn."

"How about I beat you to death with this handy piece of luggage?"

"I'm sure one of the guys will be happy to oblige."

"I'm going to maim you. I just wanted to let you know."

"Thanks for the warning," Lilian said sweetly.

Dawn looked at Lita. "Can you stop her from being cheerful, please?"

"I could try, but I'm not sure it'll work," Lita said, pulling her cell phone from her handbag. "I'll just call John and make sure there's coffee."

"Why wouldn't there be coffee?" Dawn asked, alarmed. "Why would anybody _not _have coffee?"

"Okay, sweetie, you're getting a little crazy back there."

"I've been sane a long while now, and change is good," Dawn said, leaning forward and grabbing her arm. "Coffee, however, is _better_."

"Hey, John, it's Lita," her friend said, tugging her arm free. "Listen, Dawn's going postal here; tell me you guys have coffee."

There was a pause as Dawn waited anxiously.

"I realise that you knew it was me, called ID is a wonderful thing, however, it's polite to say who it is." Lita rolled her eyes.

"Coffee," Dawn reminded her. "And donuts would be nice, too."

"Sleep deprivation," Lita continued, ignoring her. "Yeah, she does tend to live on the stuff, anyway, but Maria and Rob broke up again last night and- yeah, I figured that would explain it. Sure, that's…oh, right…well…I'll tell her. See you soon. We're about ten minutes away. Bye."

"What was that 'oh'?"

"No coffee."

"That's not funny."

"No electricity actually," Lita continued and Lilian's eyes widened.

"I'm with Dawn, now, that's not funny," the ring announcer said. "I've got to have electricity. I also have no intention of listening to this," she indicated Dawn, but kept her eyes on the road, "all week."

"You're kidding, right? Tell me you're kidding or I'll tell the guys about Mr Schnuffles."

Lita's eyes widened. "You wouldn't not, I would kill you!"

"Tell me you're lying."

"I'm lying, but that was just _mean_."

Dawn sighed in relief and sat back in the seat. "Do not mess with me. I bite."

Lita frowned. "I know. I remember."

"You bit me first."

"You stole my cookie and ate it in front of me and laughed. It was wicked and not fair."

Dawn nodded sagely. "Yes. Mine is an evil laugh."

"Hate to break up the Laurel and Hardy routine," Lilian interrupted, "but we're here." She parked the car and turned to them, smiling.

"Wow." Lita grinned. "This place is beautiful."

"Yup," Dawn said. "Very pretty. Now, I need coffee. Out." She got out of the car and made a beeline for the front door, bypassing John Cena and completely ignoring him.

"Well, this is going to be fun," Lita said dryly.

"Bets on how long before one of them is madly in love with her?" Lilian asked with a smile and Lita pouted.

"It's really not fair, is it? It's always her and never me."

"Or me," Lilian pointed out.

"Excuse me, can I just say The Rock and Edge."

"Well, it's not like I ever did them both at once."

"I didn't mean both at once, you perve!"

Lilian shrugged. "Well, I didn't."

"Thanks for clearing that up."

"And neither of them were in love with me, that was just for the sex."

It was, of course at that point that John Cena opened the car door.

"Yeah," Lita said with a smirk, enjoying the look of shock in the man's face. "This week is going to be lots of fun."

xxxxx

**End of Part Two**

xxxxx

Quotes Counter: 6/63

Pairings are loosely chosen, but I'm still open to voting. I am, however, going to stick to just the six characters I'm already using. There's a poll on my Yahoo Group, or you can just tell me in a review :)

Hope you're enjoying!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes:** I still haven't _fully _decided on the pairings, but I think I know what they'll be. The voting has been tighter than I thought. Please remember that I'm counting votes on the Poll in my Yahoo Group as well as votes in any reviews I get. I think I have a pretty good idea where it's going, though, and it kind of works with what I've written in these first three chapters, but I'll let you vote again after this chapter before I decide completely.

Choices are Lita, Lilian, and Dawn with Randy, John, and Dave. You can vote for any male/female combination thereof.

xxxxx

**Part Three**

xxxxx

She couldn't help it. The look on his face was both cute and utterly embarrassed and she just couldn't help herself. Lita started laughing hysterically. Lilian, however, looked horrified.

"Eh," John cleared his throat. "I was just…"

"Can we please pretend you didn't hear that?" she asked, her voice a few octaves higher than normal. If nothing else, Lita was sure her friend was improving her vocal range. That thought, however, just caused her to laugh harder and Lilian scowled at her. "I am not above maiming you right here and now."

"Ya might get blood on the seats," John pointed out with a smirk. "And we all know how much ya hate cleanin' that up."

"It's Dawn's car," Lilian replied, still glaring at Lita.

"Why don't we take this inside?" John said, his lips twitching at the sight of the laughing redhead.

"I prefer the 'it didn't happen in the first place' idea."

Lita just continued to laugh.

"That's it!" Lilian snapped off her seatbelt and opened the car door. "I'm going to go get coffee with Dawn. I now only have _one_ best friend." Face red and temper still getting the better of her, Lilian stormed towards the house, muttering in Spanish. She was clearly still mortified but Lita hadn't been able to help herself. She was in need of a good laugh.

"That suits ya," John said softly and she turned to look at him, quieting down.

"What does?"

He shrugged. "Laughing, Smilin'. Pretty sure just about anything that involves ya not being sad."

Lita's face broke into a huge grin as his cheeks coloured slightly. He muttered something under his breath about turning into a sap, but she paid him no mind. Instead, she leaned between the two front seats and across the back and pecked him on the cheek.

"Thank you."

He shrugged. "Di'n' do nothin'."

She smiled again. "Yes, John. You really did." She continued to stare into his eyes a little longer, inwardly cursing herself for it, but finding herself lost in the clear blue.

"You guys comin' in?"

They both jumped and looked back at the porch, where Randy was waiting for them. Lita unbuckled herself as John closed began to collect their bags, Randy joining him to help get their stuff out. It didn't take them too long to collect everything and Lita laughed when she saw that Randy, having run out of hands, had placed the hat she'd bought earlier on his head.

"Why the hell d'ya buy that thing anyhow?" Cena asked her as he laughed at his friend.

"It was the principle of the thing," she stated forcefully. "I liked it and I don't care how stupid it makes me look."

"Sleep easy knowin' it don't make you look _that_ stupid," he said, inclining his head towards Randy.

"I think it's rather fetching."

"Thank you, Lita," Randy said with a smile, glancing smugly at Cena.

"I think it might look better if it actually _fit_, of course," she pointed out.

"Yeah, that makes me feel kinda stupid."

"The fact that it's too _small_ makes ya feel stupid, but the fact that it's bright pink and made o' fake fur _don't_?"

"Don't worry, Randy, you're my kind of stupid."

Once again Randy turned to smirk at John, laughing as his friend dropped a bag and managed to trip over it. Given that his hands were full, he fell down flat, landing on their bags and smacking his head on the bottom step of the porch.

Lita and Randy both hissed through their teeth and tried not to laugh as the man struggled to free himself of bag straps and jackets. He turned over and sat down on the ground, rubbing at his head.

"I'm fine," he said. The tone of his voice, however, stated otherwise.

Lita cringed. "Are you in pain?"

"Absolutely."

Randy nodded, his mouth twitching. "Think I'll go inside and dump this stuff." He jogged up the stairs and, a few moments later, there was laughter coming from what Lita assumed was the kitchen.

John frowned, hissing in pain as he did. Lita dropped her things and crouched down to look at him. She bit her lip as she looked into his eyes, trying to determine if he was reacting okay, or if he'd seriously hurt himself. She'd dealt with a concussed Jeff Hardy enough times in her life to know the signs.

John blinked. "I'm okay, ya know." Lita nodded and leaned back on her haunches, but didn't say a word, just continued to look at him and bite her lower lip. John smiled a little. "Ya bitin' your lip so's you don't laugh?"

She nodded.

"That's not very nice. I might be concuss' ya know."

She nodded.

Sighing, John shook his head and said, "Go on then."

She started to chuckle. It didn't take long before she fell off balance because she was laughing too much. "I'm sorry!"

"No, you ain't," he said, good-naturedly.

"Your feet just…whoosh!" She lifted her arms and kept laughing. "The head part wasn't so funny, but…whoosh!"

He chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Glad to amuse."

"All she has to do for amusement is look at you." They turned to see Dave coming out of the house. "Figured you might need a hand."

"Thanks, Dave."

Lita smiled as the man picked up most of the bags and hauled them into the house, muttering something about a kitchen sink. She looked down at John who was rubbing his forehead and looking very much like an innocent little boy. She figured it was the only time she'd ever really see the man looking remotely innocent, so she just watched him.

Realising he was under scrutiny, he looked up and her and smiled. She held out her hand and he chuckled, taking hold of it and letting her help pull him to his feet. He stumbled slightly towards her and she looked at him in alarm.

"One fall per day is more than enough," she said.

"Somethin' tells me this landin' would be a lot more enjoyable."

"You mean up until the point where I place my knee quite painfully between your legs."

"Yeah," he said with a cheeky grin. "Right up to that poin'."

Suddenly he yelped and stumbled and she barely managed to get out of his way before he fell again. She looked up at the door to see Lilian standing with her hands on her hips. Randy Orton was lurking behind her, smirking.

"Damn, woman, what the hell was that for?"

"You _broke_ my hairdryer, you stupid klutz!"

"Are you sure?" Lita asked.

"Well, I'm pretty sure it wasn't in two pieces last time I checked."

"What did you throw at him?" the redhead asked, looking at the ground for some indication.

"Waterbomb."

Lita leaned over and sure enough there was a huge wet patch on his back. "Good aim."

"I didn't throw it, Randy did. I throw like a girl."

"I was aimin' for his head," the Legend Killer said, sounding disappointed.

"Why do you even have water balloons ready?"

"We was plannin' on ambushin' ya the minute ya got out of the car," John said, standing up and brushing off the dirt. Lita hit him. "Hey! It was Randy's idea."

"Don't you dare try to pin this on me, Cena," Randy said, throwing the water balloon he'd had hidden behind his back at the man. John, however, managed to catch it and had just started to throw it back when it burst…right above Lita's head.

"Oh, shit." He stepped back, his eyes wide. "That was an accident, Lita, I swear I didn'…"

She just continued to glare at him.

"Run," Lilian said helpfully. "No, seriously. Run."

"What happened?" Dawn asked as she joined them, holding in a laugh when she spotted Lita.

"John threw a water bomb at her."

"I did not! I threw it at Orton, it jus'…didn' get that far."

"We have more in the back," Dave pointed out as he came up behind them, pushing everyone out onto the porch.

The three women looked at each other and then tore off towards the back yard.

"Shit." John winced, knowing that Lita was going to be gunning for him.

"Tell you what, I got the little one," Randy said with a smile. "She can't aim."

"Yeah, but she can be vicious."

"I'll take my chances."

"I'll take Dawn," Dave added.

"No!" John shook his head. "U-uh, you ain't leavin' me with the redhead. I just got concussion. That ain't fair."

"Screw fair," Randy said, laughing as they took off around the side of the house.

"Screw _you_."

"Get in line."

"Speaking of lines," Dave said, interrupting whatever John had planned on responding with and coming to a stop. "We got one here might be a problem."

They glanced into the back garden to see Lita, Dawn, and Lilian standing in a small line in front of the large bucket of water balloons they'd put together earlier. Glancing at each other, the men smiled.

"I think this means war, men," John shouted as they headed further into the garden, circling the women strategically.

Lita called out to Randy, "Don't forget to call him 'sir.' He likes that," she said with a laugh, throwing her first water balloon at John and just getting his arm as he jumped out of the way.

"Tha's it. You're goin' down, Red."

She smirked at him. "Bring it on, Cena. Just remember; I bite."

He winked. "Oh, I'm countin' on it."

xxxxx

**End of Part Three**

xxxxx

Quotes Counter: 12/63

_(I was actually up to 7 in the last chapter, not 6)_

Hope you're all still enjoying!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes:** Someone asked what a 'Quotes Counter' was. In the first part, I stated that this fic was a response to Karen U's 'Firefly Quotes Challenge', which stated that you had to write a fic which included a choice of pairings and a minimum of five of the quotes provided. There were 63 quotes in total and I'm trying to get as many in as possible. The Quote's Counter is merely a way for me to show you how many Firefly quotes I've got in already. If you really wanted, you can try to guess what they are ;)

Also, I wanted to mention something else. Another reviewer pointed out that I'm not using the names correctly, because, when the characters weren't in the ring, they'd call each other by their real names. I do not write real person fic. I write about characters. You won't ever see me using someone's real name in a fic unless their character shares that name; e.g. Jeff Hardy wrestles as Jeff Hardy, therefore his character is also called Jeff Hardy. I might use a wrestler's surname at a push, but, more often than not, I make it up (In _'In a Breath_' Edge's real name was Edward and I made up the surname as well). Amy Dumas is a real person and I have no right to write about her life. Her character, however, is fair game. As far as I'm concerned, it would be like writing about Daniel Radcliffe instead of Harry Potter, or Lauren Graham instead of Lorelai Gilmore, and I'm not comfortable with that.

With the WWE it's easier to cross that line, merely because they do that themselves (all you need to do for proof is look at the current shitty storyline that Amy Dumas and Adam Copeland are still in). Whilst I choose to write some of my WWE fics with the storyline being fake, I still don't choose to cross that line and write about the real people. I'm not saying anything against those who do use 'Amy' instead of 'Lita', because most of them are still writing about characters, but for me, personally, I'm just not comfortable with it and I won't do it. I hope that clears things up.

And now, onto the fic!

xxxxx

**Part Four**

xxxxx

Lilian crowed with delight and threw another water bomb, delighted at the irritated grunt that followed. She danced on the balls of her feet, carefully took aim about four feet above her intended target and threw, grinning when it hit his leg.

She might have a crap aim, but she'd learnt to deal with that in the only way she knew how; physics. She'd been great at vectors in school. She knew exactly what angle she was supposed to throw the balloon at in order to hit the target and, given how shocking her throw was, she added exactly four feet…well, give or take. It didn't work much when someone was far away, but, given that the target was barely five feet away from her, she was doing pretty damn well.

"So, what made you think picking _me_ was going to be the easy option?" Lilian asked sweetly as she watched Randy Orton lying on the ground against the house gasping for breath and dripping from head to toe.

"You're…_short_."

"Hah! That'll teach you!" She grinned wickedly and threw her final water bomb.

"Oh, be honest, Randy," Dawn said, approaching them and throwing the water balloon in her left hand at his head. "I'm sure you're used to hearing that size doesn't matter when it comes to pounding someone against a wall."

Lilian turned to her friend. "I'm trying to think of a way for you to be cruder. I just... It's not coming."

"You're bright red," the brunette pointed out lightly. "Did you know that?" As if in answer, she was hit from behind by a water balloon, courtesy of Lita. "Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal," she yelled dramatically, throwing her last balloon and missing the redhead…but hitting a sopping wet John Cena who was standing behind her.

"Why inevitable?" Randy asked, groaning as he got to his feet.

"I hit her with one first."

"So, technically, you betrayed her," Lilian pointed out. "She merely retaliated."

"Just so you know, if I had another water bomb, it'd be on your head by now."

"Noted."

"Now," Dawn said, shaking her hair and soaking them all. "I need more coffee."

"You already _inhaled_ two cups when you got here!" Dave cried and she turned to him.

"Yes, I did, but you didn't make it strong enough."

"Yeah," Lita said, "you really need to put in enough coffee to kill an elephant before Dawn even gets a slight kick."

"An IV would be more helpful," Lilian added, nodding her head.

"I don't…have that much coffee," Dave said warily.

"Then you best be visiting the local store, hadn't you?" Dawn grinned at him and headed back into the house. "I'm going for a coffee. If you guys don't want to share the shower, be done by the time I'm finished drinking it."

"I'll give you five minutes," Randy called after her. "I'll meet you in the downstairs bathroom!"

xxxxx

"It was an accident, I swear!"

"An accident?" she growled and he swore he felt the ground beneath him quake with fear. Or, possibly, that was just him.

"Yes…an accident." He backed away slowly, as if dealing with a wild and scary animal. He rather thought he was. In fact, he'd _rather_ deal with a wild and scary animal. Preferably one that was less inclined to play with its food than she was.

"Eh…somethin' goin' on here you wanna share wit' the whole class?" John asked appearing behind them and looking at the scene warily.

"It was an accident," Randy reiterated. When there was no response from either of them, he turned to his friend, imploringly. "John, make the redhead go away and stop being mad at me."

"Yeah," John said, cocking on eyebrow. "'Cause I'm the expert at that one."

"Lita, I swear I didn't mean to walk in."

John snorted. "Tell me you di'n' walk into the shower."

"No…just the bathroom. I didn't actually get in the shower."

"Ah, that'd be why we heard a scream."

"And you didn't think to come and save me?" Randy asked.

"Dude, you scream like a girl, you deserve t' be beaten 'til your voice breaks."

"Funny."

"So, Red," John said, looking over at the glaring woman. "You plannin' on standin' there all night?"

She glared at him, still clutching the top of her towel. He took a step back and she turned on the Legend Killer.

"Randy, I'm going to maim you, very slowly and _very _painfully," she said succinctly and he gulped. "I will use heavy objects and there will be blood. Which will annoy Lilian, so you'll have to put up with her whining as well, which is a curse in and of itself. You won't know when, or how, but I will make sure it will hurt. Are we clear?"

He nodded and, thinking she was finished, made to move away, before stopping and turning to look at her again. "How do I know you won't kill me in my sleep?"

"Because then you wouldn't die painfully."

"Okay." He nodded. "Right. I'm gonna…go watch out for flying objects."

"Yes," she said. "You do that." He walked away, only stopping briefly when she spoke again "And Randy, it could be any time, any where and, also... I can kill you with my brain."

He almost looked like he believed her. It was only when he was scurrying up the stairs that he heard raucous laughter behind him.

xxxxx

"Damn, remind me never to piss you off. Seriously. You are one _scary_ woman,"

Lita laughed and continued to towel her hair dry. She'd already changed and they were both sitting in her room, John was on her bed and she was curled up in the large armchair. When they'd arrived, they'd tossed a coin to see who got a room to themselves and Lita had won, for which she was eternally grateful; Lilian snored like a trooper.

"I'm not that bad!" she protested and he looked at her dubiously.

"Orton about pissed his pants. I swear he's gonna be found in a nervous puddle mutterin' 'But she was naked and all articulate'. Hope you realise that Mama Orton's gonna make ya pay for the loony bin."

"You're seriously disturbed."

"_I'm_ seriously disturbed?" he asked incredulously. "Woman, you jus' had a guy three times your size trippin' over 'iself to get outta you're way."

"I do kinda rock," she said, smiling. "So, why aren't you scared?"

"Ya worried about me, Red?"

"You wish."

"Ya bet I do. Don't worry, I am a large, semi-muscular man. I can take it."

"Semi-muscular?" she asked, glancing at him appreciatively.

"I hear women dig self-deprecation."

"You hear wrong," she said. "It annoys the crap out of me. I have enough that I suck at without pretending to think I suck at what I'm _actually_ good at."

He caught sight of Lilian at the door and ignored her questioning look, which he knew was due to the fact that he and Lita were alone. Instead he asked, "Is it bad that what she said made perfect sense to me?"

"Yes," the ring announcer replied. "It means you've entered her world and that is not a good place to be."

Lita stuck out her tongue. "She's mean to me, ignore her."

"Would you please come and inform Randy that you're _not_ going to kill him in his sleep, I think Dawn's about to maim him for you…or possibly jump him. Either way I don't think Dave's going to enjoy the view."

John laughed. "How do you know he don' get off on that," he said with a wink, not expecting the speculative look that came to her face. Lita laughed and he looked back and forth between them. "Ya know what, I'm not even gonna ask."

"Let's just say you caught the tale end of it earlier," the redhead said and Lilian, once again, looked mortified. "You need to grow a thicker skin, Lil."

"I like my skin the way it is."

"Yes, it's very…shiny." He frowned and they both looked at him. "What? What was I supposed to say?"

"Nothing," Lilian said and Lita nodded.

"Yeah, nothing would be good."

"Ya know what, I'm gonna go join the guys."

"Send Randy my love!" Lita called after him and, because he was leaving the room at the time, she missed the slightly pained look on his face.

xxxxx

**End of Part Four**

xxxxx

Quotes Counter: 18/63

Okay, so the pairings are decided, yay! To the lovely reviewer who was desperate for me to write John/Maria, I'm sorry, but I'm not bringing anyone else into the fic. And the other lovely who wanted me to make this another Lita/Shawn; you share my heart, me thinks! That said, as mentioned above, I'm going to stick to the six characters I already have. Hopefully, I'll write another Lita/Shawn soon. In fact, check out my new story, 'Immune', which has Lita, Shawn, and Hunter and no pairings decided as of yet… ;)

Hope you're all still enjoying.


	5. Chapter 5

**Cabin Fever**

**By Kyizi**

**Disclaimer:** The WWE and all related items do not belong to me; only the story is mine. No copyright infringement intended.

**Rating:** 12A/PG-13

**Distribution:** Please ask.

**Pairings:** Lita/John, Lilian/Dave, Dawn/Randy. (_and can I just say how surprised I am by how completely close the voting was. __To those of you who specifically didn't want Lita./John, sorry! __I seriously think I might have to do another fic with these characters and give you the other pairings you chose: Lita/Dave and Lilian/John.)_

**Spoilers: **All Lita storyline is fair game.

**Feedback: **Please, it makes me smile :)

**Notes:** This is a response to Karen U's 'Firefly Quotes Challenge', which stated the following:

Pairings possibilities:

**Lita** - Christian, Jericho, **Cena,** HBK, Orton, Batista

**Lilian** - Cena, Christian, Jericho, **Batista**, RVD, Orton, Benoit

Other divas and pairings are up to the author, but no Trish/Jericho.

The other requirement was, of course, to **use a minimum of five of the stated Firefly quotes**. I'm gonna see if I can get most of them in.

xxxxx

**Part Five**

xxxxx

She smiled, blinking as the cold air nipped at her eyes. She took a deep breath and slowly let it out with a soft 'haa' sound, watching as her breath steamed when it hit the evening air. The air was relatively cold for the time of year and, given that it had been a hot day, she had no idea where it had come from. She didn't really care where it had come from, but she loved it. She'd always loved cool, crisp evenings.

She tugged the loose shirt tighter around her, smirking and looking down at it. She knew Dave wouldn't mind that she'd stolen it. She climbed up another rung on the gate and leaned over the top of it, letting out more puffs of air, this time imitating a steam engine. She even let out a few 'toots'.

She almost slipped and fell when she heard a chuckle coming from behind her. She turned and glared at the man.

"I nearly fell and broke my neck there."

"I'd'a caught ya." He moved closer and leaned his arms on the top of the gate next to hers and looked out at the field in front of them. It wasn't a spectacular view, in fact the area was (aside from the small forest at the back of the house) fairly flat and _un_spectacular. But after seeing city upon city for weeks on end, it was a nice change.

"What ya doin' out here?"

"Listening," she said softly and he smiled. They glanced at each other in their peripheral vision and she couldn't stop herself from matching his smile.

"Not a lot goin' on ta listen to."

"That's what I like about it."

They stood in relative silence and she was surprised to find that she didn't mind it in the slightest. She found she enjoyed silence more now than she ever had before.

"Ya comin' back in?" he asked softly after about five minutes of companionable silence.

"No, I'm going to climb that tree."

He looked at her in surprise and she grinned cheekily at him before hopping over the gate and running through the field and over to the far left.

"You are crazy!" he called after her and she could tell that he was coming after her. "Ain't no way that thing is safe."

She was surprised that he hadn't caught up with her by the time she reached her destination and leapt up, catching hold of one of the lower branches. She hauled herself up and onto it, breathing heavily for a moment, before cautiously standing up. She walked slowly to the trunk of the tree and reached up to the next branch, continuing to climb.

"You're gonna kill yourself, Red!"

"I'm a cat, John, my mother always said so." She let out a squeal as her hand slipped, leaving her dangling from a high branch. She grinned down at him, almost touched by how worried he looked. "Cat's have nine lives and they always land on their feet."

"Must be where ya get the bitin' from," he called up and she laughed, reaching up to pull herself onto the next branch. "You fall and I am _not_ takin' any responsibility for it. You damn well better haunt me if ya kill yerself, because deserve the right to say 'I told ya so'. Repeatedly."

"It's a deal!"

"Damn, Red, watch it! Ya gonna get stuck up there!"

She laughed and slipped her legs in through the gap between her hands, turning herself upside down and hooking her legs over the branch. She slowly let go of her hands and waved at him.

"Stop it!"

She laughed and swung herself backwards and forwards a little. "Lighten up, Johnny!"

"How much did you have before you came outside?"

"One bottle of beer, John, I'm not drunk."

"Lilian said the same thing after half a glass o' wine and I di'n' believe her either!"

"Lil's a lightweight."

"Yeah, and you're a regular marine!"

"Nope, that'd be you," she called back cheekily and he shook his head. "I dated one once, though," she said, curling up and taking hold of the branch again. She began to unhook her legs and continued her climb.

"What?"

"I dated a marine once," she replied. There was no instant reply and she risked a glance down at him. He was too far away for her to see his face.

"That how you like your men?" he called after a moment.

"I like the haircut, anyway," she called back saucily and he laughed.

"Somehow, I always pictured you preferred it long."

"I do, usually. I make the exception every now and then, though." There was no reply and she grinned to herself, just enjoying that she didn't have to wonder what anyone was thinking about her right now. John was a loudmouth on occasion – well, actually, most of the time – but he'd never judge her based on anyone's opinion; not even the entire viewing audience. Especially not them.

"Yo, Red, ya 'bout done up there?"

"Nearly," she shouted, manoeuvring herself onto the top branch. She looked down at him, surprised by how far she'd climbed. He looked tiny. In fact, if she… She held her forefinger and her thumb apart until he was fully placed in the gap and laughed. "Hey, John, you're two inches!"

He spluttered; she could hear him even at that height. "Get down here and I'll prove ya _way_ wrong on that one!"

"It's okay, John, most men are." She grinned. "God gave them an inch and they think it's a mile!"

"Don' think jus' because ya way up there I won't get ya back for this. Ain't nothing small 'bout me, I'll introduce ya to the proof up close and real personal."

"You're getting very defensive, John."

"I ain't never had complaints before and you ain't even seen the goods, so proof before prosecution, Red." She could almost hear the grin, could almost sense his gaze raking over her. Maybe she was a little drunk. She was playing with fire, anyway. Well, she was playing with something.

"Okay, okay!" she yelled, laughing. "I'm coming down."

She tilted her hips to the left, her leg slid slowly off the branch and she reached out with her left foot, grinning as she placed most of her weight on it. Then she wrapped her arms tighter around the tree trunk and angled her head around to look at her right leg. It was bent, her knee almost even with her shoulder…and she had no idea how to move it without falling.

"Okay, now I can't get down."

xxxxx

"Stop laughing."

She was glaring at him, but his shoulders were still shaking. She continued to shake out the stiffness in her legs and batted his hands away when he tried to help her climb over the gate. She gritted her teeth the moment she realised she should have just accepted the help, but she was too stubborn to do anything but get herself over it.

"So…you do this often?"

He was still laughing.

"Shut up."

"No, I just mean…climbing trees is…fun." He cleared his throat. He was still laughing, if not out loud. "Lotsa fun. Ya know, especially the part where I have to climb up and rescue your ass. I mean-"

She turned on him, glaring, and his eyes widened. He wasn't laughing anymore.

"Your mouth is talking. You might want to look to that."

She walked towards the house and up the stairs, feeling almost guilty. He had had to climb up after her. He had had to talk her into letting go of the tree and…well…he had got her down. Now she felt like an ass.

She turned when she reached the doorway and let out a sigh. He was climbing up the porch steps and he looked like a kicked puppy. She had always had a soft spot for puppies.

"I'm sorry."

A smile played on his lips. "How sorry?"

"Don't push your luck, Cena."

He grinned and his dimples came to life. She loved those dimples.

"So, do I get a thank you?"

She rolled her eyes. "Thank you, John."

The door jerked open behind her and she almost fell on Dawn.

"I think he d'serves more 'n that!" her friend slurred. "He climbed that tree after you."

"You saw that?"

"Better than TV," Lilian said from behind Dawn. "We heard you screaming at him from in there." She indicated the living room. "It was very exciting to watch. We had peanuts because there was no popcorn. John was very…masculine and rescue like."

Lita rolled her eyes again. "Yeah. He's my hero."

"A very sexy hero. All like Herule like."

Lita frowned. "I think you mean Hercules. Hercule was like…a detective or something. Poirot, I think."

Lilian nodded. "Hercules and Apollo were all hero like, weren't they?"

"You sayin' I'm a Greek God, girls?" John asked and Lita swatted him.

"I'm going to kill you."

"I rescued ya! Plus, ya think I'm hot."

"When did I say that?" the redhead demanded.

"Well, ya di'n' but ya were thinkin' it."

She glared at him and hit him again, before pushing her way past everyone and heading for her room. John let out a grunt of frustration and moved to go after her, only stopping when Dawn spoke.

"She wants you to follow so she can _thank_ you."

"Somehow, sweetie," John said, turning to grin indulgently at the drunken Diva. "I don't think that's on 'er mind. What she's thinkin' involves more violence, I think."

"She likes it rough," Lilian said and John chuckled when he heard Dave and Randy choking on their beers in the other room. Somehow he suspected the little blonde had more of a dirty mind than them all put together, she just rarely voiced it. As if to prove that being drunk was one of those rare times where she _did_ voice it, she continued. "I think she has handcuffs in her suitcase at all times. I asked to borrow them once, but she said no. Thought I'd break them."

"She thought ya'd break metal handcuffs?" John asked, knowing the woman was going to be horrified if she remembered this conversation in the morning.

"No, she thought I'd break the pink fuzzy stuff off them. It was tickly. Besides, I didn't think Edge would wear them and Rocky always refused to wear anything with pink."

John wasn't sure if he was more inclined to laugh or grimace at that. He also had a feeling that few men would be able to resist wearing even pink handcuffs for the petite ring announcer, especially if she asked them nicely. There was something very appealing in her perceived innocence.

"I think my mind's goin' to all sortsa places it shouldn't," he said after a moment, chuckling and shaking his head when he caught the saucy look on Lilian's face. She was playing with him. Wasn't anyone in the company who didn't know he had his heart set on another woman, except of course the woman herself. And thinking of…

"I think I got an apology to make." He indicated the door at the back of the hall and walked towards it. "Even if she was overreactin'," he mumbled.

Lita was the only person staying on the ground floor. Unfortunately that meant that if she refused to answer the door, he'd be doing his grovelling in front of everyone. Of course, both Randy and Dave had been fairly quiet since Lilian had started talking, so he had the feeling they weren't that concerned with that he was doing, but he could still sense Lilian and Dawn watching him.

Shaking his head, he focussed on the task at hand. He knocked on the door, but there was no reply.

"Hey, Red," he said softly. "Ya wanna let me in?"

"No."

"Come on, Lita, ya know I was only playin' wit' ya." There was an irritated grunt and he had no idea what to say. He hated not being able to see her face. "Come on, jus' let me in."

"So you can ask me if I think you're hot?"

She sounded playful again. He grinned; they could never stay mad at each other long. Granted, they didn't know each other _that_ well, but he thought he knew her better than most. Lita was a very private person. He liked her best when she was away from work now. She just didn't seem to enjoy it anymore and being away from it all made her more relaxed…made her more _real_. She hadn't looked sad or upset since she'd arrived and then he'd messed things up with a stupid comment. Luckily, she seemed to realise she'd overreacted and was playing again. He hoped.

"Well?" he asked, trying to keep things light. "Do ya?"

"Think you're hot?" she asked and he could tell she was standing directly in front of him at the other side of the door. "Why should I tell you?"

He chuckled. "I'm a dead man; I can't know?"

"I didn't kill you yet."

"Ya goin' to?"

"Jury's still out."

There was a slight pause before the door handle turned. He crossed his arms and affected an innocent look that had her laughing the minute she saw him.

"You're cute," she conceded and he winced.

"Well, that'll do for now." He inclined his head to the living room. "You wanna join them?"

She grimaced. "I think they're all a bit _too_ drunk right now." She opened the door further and indicated he should enter.

"Safer in here?" he asked and the sultry look she sent his way almost made him run and hide lest he should mess things up by doing something stupid like just jumping her.

"Depends on your definition of safe," she replied.

He closed the door behind him and stood awkwardly just inside the room. She sent him a questioning look, but before he could answer Dawn's voice filtered through the door.

"Have good sex!"

Yeah, the rest of the week was going to be torture.

xxxxx

**End of Part Five**

xxxxx

Quotes Counter: 24/63

_(Previous count was wrong again. Should have been 19/63)_

Okay, so the mood was a bit different at the start of this one, meh, I don't care! Pairings are now decided, so all that's left to do is sit back and enjoy the ride. Wear your seatbelts because I have no idea what my muses are planning for this one!

I keep getting asked what the quotes counter is, so read the notes at the top about the challenge! ;)


	6. Chapter 6

**Cabin Fever**

**By Kyizi**

**Disclaimer:** The WWE and all related items do not belong to me; only the story is mine. No copyright infringement intended.

**Rating:** 12A/PG-13

**Distribution:** Please ask.

**Pairings:** Lita/John, Lilian/Dave, Dawn/Randy

**Spoilers: **All Lita storyline is fair game.

**Feedback: **Please, it makes me smile :)

**Notes:** I'm really sorry for my absence, but I have no money atm. Literally. No money. Hence, nothing to pay for internet cafes. I'm on holiday for a fortnight, starting next week, so it might be mid October before I'm back properly. I have another chapter of this almost done, though, and it'll be posted before I go away.

xxxxx

**Part Six**

xxxxx

"I hate nature."

"This was _your_ idea," Lita said, rolling her eyes.

Dawn glared at her. "No," she said sharply, "_my_ idea was to have a picnic. I meant in the back yard."

"Well, that's no fun," Lilian said, turning back to look at them. Because she wasn't looking, she tripped on a root, squealing as she fell forward. Luckily for her, John had quick reflexes. "Thanks," she said, embarrassedly and he winked at her.

"No need. I ain't comlainin' about gettin' to put my arms round a beautiful woman."

"Flatterer."

"Always."

Lita watched the interaction between them with a frown on her face, not even realising she was doing so until Dawn elbowed her. She glanced at her friend, feigning confusion at the smug look on the brunette's face.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing," Dawn said sweetly, but her tone implied the opposite. "Ouch!" She swatted at her neck. "Stupid bugs." She pouted. "My head hurts."

"That's what you get when you ply yourself full of alcohol," Lita said sweetly.

Dawn glared at her, before smirking and walking ahead to catch up with John and Lilian. She linked her arm through Lilian's and began to lead her off, glancing back over her shoulder to talk to John.

"Whatever you two did last night, John, you weren't doing it right; she's all pissy this morning," she said, moving off before Lita could hit her.

Lita glared at her laughing friends as they hurried to catch up with Randy and Dave. She glanced briefly at John, who seemed to be waiting for her. They had sat up most of the night talking and she was sure he had fallen asleep first (in fact, she was positive, because she'd watched him until she fell asleep herself), but he'd been gone when she woke up. She couldn't deny that she was feeling a little uncomfortable about the whole thing.

"You okay?" he asked softly as he started walking alongside her.

"Yeah, I'm fine, why wouldn't I be?"

"No reason."

"Good."

There was silence as they continued to walk and eventually she heard him sigh. "I didn' wanna wake ya," he said softly. "You looked…peaceful."

"You don't need to explain," she said sharply, but he continued anyway.

"I didn' think you'd appreciate if the guys found us."

"It's fine."

"Good."

"Good."

It didn't _feel_ fine.

She took a deep breath and glanced at him momentarily, before looking straight ahead. They were quite far behind now.

"So, you and Lilian are getting friendly," Lita said, hoping she sounded nonchalant. She'd failed miserably and she knew it.

John frowned. "She fell. I caught her." He glanced at her face, a small smile playing at his mouth and she suddenly wanted to hit him in his smug little face. "Is that a problem?"

"'Course not. It's not a problem, 'cause it's... Not."

"Right, so no problem," he reiterated. He was definitely smiling now and the urge to hit him increased.

"Nope, none at all."

He was still smirking. He continued to glance at her every few minutes. She growled.

"We're going to be trading injuries in under two minutes."

"What'd I do?" he cried and she smacked him on the arm.

"Nothing and yet you look smug."

"Do I got somethin' to look smug about?" he asked softly, turning so that he was standing right in front of her. Because it had happened so suddenly, she walked right into him, having to brace herself against his chest. She tried to ignore that she could feel his heart beating under the palm of her hand…but mostly she tried to ignore the tingling feeling where his hands rested on her waist.

She couldn't deal with what it meant.

"Lita?"

She shook her head and took a step back. "W-we should catch up with the others."

As she brushed past him, she tried to pretend she hadn't seen the look in his eyes.

xxxxx

"We're very close to true stupidity here."

"And you should know," Lilian pointed out. Dawn glared at her and she laughed. "So, I'm sorry," the blonde continued. "After last night, who's bright idea was it to bring _aloc-me-hol_ on this picnic?"

Randy cocked an eyebrow. "Alco-me-hol?"

"She invents words when she's drunk," Lita informed him. "And mixes up letters."

"She does _that_ when she's sober," Dawn pointed out. "I can't tell you how many times she's misplaced her car in a 'par cark'."

"Or how many pretty flutterby's she's seen," Lita said with a grin.

"Or hodgehegs."

"Or when she lost her Scooby Doo jypamas…" Lita frowned. "She's going to kill me now, isn't she?"

Dawn nodded. "Or possibly divulge certain information about a stuffed-"

"Shut up!" Lita turned to face Lilian, wincing when she saw the look on her friends face. "Lily? Sweetie? You still love me, right?"

The blonde continued to glare. And blush.

"So," Dave said, clearing his throat and trying to hide his smile. "What are the plans for tomorrow?"

"I was thinking of killing my friends in their sleep, I could use a hand burying the bodies," Lilian said sweetly. "Any takers?"

John frowned. "Is there an answer to that question that won' get us killed by at least one of ya?"

"I was thinking water sports," Randy said suddenly. "You still got your speed boat?" he asked Dave and the larger man nodded. "Then why don't we take a drive out to the ocean and spend the day there."

"You have a speedboat?" Dawn asked, surprised.

"What do you mean by 'water sports'?" Lilian demanded before Dave could reply. "Is that likely to involve getting wet? In the ocean?"

Lita rolled her eyes. "No, Lil, water sorts are completely dry."

"Funny. That's very funny."

"So, you up for it?" Dave asked and Lilian hesitated a moment before nodding slowly, unable to stop herself smiling back at him…even if it did look a little pained.

"Aw, she so sweet," Dawn said in a baby voice.

"And so brave," Lita added.

"Our sweet, brave, little Lilian is going to face her-"

"I said I'll go... just stop describing me," Lilian ground out.

"Wow, and here I thought I was the cranky one today."

"Li, you're always cranky."

"Well, maybe if John had done his job right last night…" Dawn grinned.

"Funny, I would have thought the 'job' part was Lita's."

It wasn't until she saw Randy's beer come out of his nose that she realised she'd spoken out loud.

xxxxx

"Psssst!

…Hey, Dawn!

…Psssssssst!

…_Dawn_!"

There was a loud bang, followed by a thump as something hit the floor.

"Hey, Dawn, are you awake?" Lilian frowned. "I'll take your growl as a yes."

"This had better be a nightmare, Garcia," Dawn said, her voice deep and threatening. "Because if I seriously find out that you woke me up and made me fall out of bed at… 3:13am, you will not live to see 3:14."

"I want payback and I can't think of anything. I need you to help."

"You're going deaf, aren't you? Because that's the only reason I can come up with for you _not_ shutting the fuck up and letting me get back to sleep. You're also crazy, right? Because I can't honestly come up with one single reason you would be suicidal enough to have _actually_ woken me."

"I think Lita needs to get laid."

"Crazy it is."

"No, seriously."

"I could have told you that. I believe I _have_ told you that. Often. I've told _her_ that. I could have told _you_ that _again_…in the _morning_, so that you didn't have to _wake_ me at _3:13am_!"

"I was thinking John might be a good choice. I mean, we all know he's in love with her. I think she likes him, too, but I can never figure her out anymore."

Dawn groaned. "We're actually having this conversation at 3:15am, aren't we?" Lilian was silent. Dawn let out a whimper. "Yes, John's in love with her, yes, she's probably in love with him, no, I really couldn't give a fuck right now, because it's after 3am!"

"We should do something about it this week."

"Like what?" Dawn asked hissing in pain as she tried to sit up and, instead, hit her head off the underside of the bed. "I will kill you…as soon as I'm on complete control of my motor functions."

"I think we should try to get them together."

"Play matchmaker?"

"Yes."

"Do you remember the last time you did that?"

"…maybe?"

"Lilian, do you remember the last time you did that?"

She sighed. "Yes, I do."

"And how many people have threatened to kill you whenever they have to hear the saga that is Maria and Rob: Volume Nine Million?"

"A lot."

"Try the entire roster, honey."

"Not the _entire_ roster! …Mr. MacMahon hasn't."

"He asked Shane to do it for him."

"Yeah…yeah, he did."

"Look, Lil, I get it. I agree with it, but getting involved is just a bad idea."

The ring announcer sighed. "I suppose. It just seemed like a good way to get payback _and_ help Lita be happy and love again. All in one go."

Dawn sighed. "It's a bad idea."

"I know."

"Unless…"

"Unless?"

Dawn grinned and crawled towards Lilian's bed. "Unless they're forced to share a room…that could speed things up a little."

"What have you got in mind?"

Dawn tugged her friend's hand, grinning mischievously as they got to their feet. "Oh, don't worry, you'll see."

…

Twenty minutes later they crawled, or, in Lilian's case, limped back into bed.

"Well…it wasn't entirely a disaster."

"I got stabbed!"

Dawn flinched. "How was I to know you were standing right behind me?"

"I had my hands on your shoulders!"

"I know! Your Vulcan death grip almost killed me."

"You stabbed me! I couldn't scream. The pain had to transfer somewhere!"

"You are such a drama queen."

"You are such a boob."

"How did your brain even learn human speech? I'm a boob? What are you, five?"

"No, I'm a person with a _hole_ in her _foot_."

"You're a _noisy_ person with a hole in her foot."

"I didn't scream when you stabbed me!"

"No, you're right. And if we completely ignore that you tripped over the book case, nearly fell down the stairs, knocked over Dave's tool box, and almost broke the door to John's room, then you were silent the _whole time._ Stealth. You may have heard of it, but you really don't know how to implement it."

"I hate you."

"Yeah, well-"

There was a loud crash from down the hall, followed by a yell and they both grinned, turning to face each other in the dark.

Lilian laughed. "And so begins phase one."

xxxxx

**End of Part Six**

xxxxx

_Quotes Counter: 32/63_

Woohoo, that's as half way as you can get without an even number! g Hee, I am going to get all those quotes in if it kills me!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes:** Thanks to everyone who has reviewed. I was able to nip on and post this quickly. I'm off on holiday and likely won't be updating again until nearer the end of October. Hope you enjoy!

xxxxx

**Part Seven**

xxxxx

John Cena was pissed. Had the scowl on his face and the tensely crossed arms not given it away, the glare (and dare they call it a pout?) would have confirmed it. He was sitting, slouched down on one of the dining room chairs glaring at his cereal. Everyone else was giving him a wide berth and the conversation had turned into bursts of short, staccato phrases. All in all, John Cena did not look like a happy man.

"Good morning everyone!" Lita said, breezing sunnily into the room. "Isn't it a glorious day?"

John glared.

Everyone else looked at her as it she was on crack.

"Are you on crack?"

"No, Dawn," Lita said through gritted teeth. "I am not on crack. I am _trying_ to be in a good mood, why don't you just go ahead and spoil it?" Spotting that John seemed preoccupied boring holes into his breakfast, Lita frowned. "What the hell's up with your face?"

"His bed broke," Lilian supplied.

Lita cocked an eyebrow. "And you would know because...?"

"I would know because, unlike _some people_, I tend to wake up when a grown man starts screaming like a little girl before cussing like a marine at the top of his voice."

"Fuck off."

"Yes sir, Captain Tight-pants," Dawn retorted.

John let out a sigh. "This is not my best day ever. And it's only eight thirty."

Lita's lips twitched at his petulant tone. She sat in the spare seat on his right, placed her hand on his arm and lowered her head to look up at him with a mock pout.

"You broke your bed, Johnny?"

He growled low in the back of his throat…but her reaction wasn't fear. She pulled her hand back and cleared her throat. Glancing at him, she saw that he was watching her with a contemplative look on his face and a slight upwards turn at the edges of his mouth.

Either the others missed the interaction, or they decided (for a change) to be discreet and not mention it. It was most likely that they were fed up of John's bad mood and happy to keep him out of it.

"So what did you do to break it anyway?" Lita asked and the others groaned as he went back to glaring at his bowl.

"It jus' broke," he ground out.

"Yes," Dawn snapped. "And woke up the entire house, excluding, of course, sleeping _log-head_ here, and he hasn't let any of us back to sleep since!"

"If I ain't sleepin' neither are you."

"Very nice," Dawn said, throwing her spoon down and leaning back in her chair.

"Look, man, it's not the end of the world," Randy said, looking as if he thought his friend was blowing things out of proportion…and hoping that there wouldn't be any fists flying before breakfast was over.

John aimed his glare at Randy, giving his cereal a reprieve.

"Look," Dave said, rolling his eyes, "I got a fold down couch in the-" He took in a sharp breath and everyone looked at him as his face contorted in pain. "But it's broken," he finished, an octave higher.

John frowned. "It's broken?"

"Yeah," Dave said, casting a quick glance at Lilian, but the blonde merely continued eating her toast. "Broken."

"Then why the hell d'ya mention it?"

Lita sighed. "Look, there's a spare bed in my room, you can bunk in with me. But only if you promise you don't snore."

"He doesn't," Lilian said. She stopped eating a moment later and looked up to find everyone staring. Now it was Lita who had the glare.

"How do you know?" John asked.

"I just meant that I didn't hear anything last night before we went to sleep. Dawn and I were up chatting late and then we heard you screaming. Dawn's cranky because we've had no sleep at _all_ and I didn't hear any snoring, okay! That's all I meant."

"No need to freak out, was only askin'," John said, but he was looking at her curiously.

"So," Dawn said quickly. "We're speed-boating today?"

xxxxx

"I'm not getting in."

"What?" Dawn asked, turning to look at the ring announcer.

"I thought I could, but I won't and you can't make me."

The brunette sighed and stepped back on land, glancing over her shoulders to make sure that none of the guys were watching. When Lita spotted the two of them, she began talking loudly to all three men.

"You can't be serious, Lil," Dawn said, taking another sip of her coffee. "You said we're not allowed to say anything. If we're not allowed to say anything then how are we going to explain the whole refusal to get in the boat?"

"You can't make me!" Lilian's eyes were wide and teary and Dawn let out a sigh.

"I really want a shot," she whined.

"You don't have to stay. I'll stay on my own, honest."

"We're not leaving you on your own, Lilian."

"Is there a problem?" The both turned to find Dave eyeing them curiously. "You okay, Lilian? You look a little…pale."

"Fine," she replied, but her eyes were wide and panic stricken.

"Lilian's not feeling too great. I was going to stay on land with her."

"Nah, you go, I'll stay with her," Dave said, steering Dawn back toward the boat. "Been feeling a little off myself today." He shrugged. "Guess I shoulda laid off the beer yesterday."

"You sure?" Dawn asked, looking torn between her friend and her desire to play.

"Positive. We'll be over there." He pointed towards a small picnic table overlooking the water. "Have fun."

"Hey, Dave, you guys comin'?" John called out and the man shook his head.

"Nah, gonna sit this one out. Boat's a little crowded."

"Ya sure?"

"Positive."

Dave led Lilian back along the dock and headed towards the car. He stopped to pull out a small picnic basket and grabbed hold of her hand, leading the way to the picnic table. Lilian watched in silence as he laid out the food and drink, before indicating she should sit opposite him. Placing her hands on her hips she looked at him expectantly and waited in silence until he spoke.

"What?"

"You just happened to have a hamper of my favourite foods in the car?"

He smirked. "I like to be prepared."

"Dave."

He shrugged. "You don't like water."

"How did you know that?"

"It wasn't difficult to figure it out. Plus, I remember hearing Torrie mention something about you having problems on a few photo shoots."

"I'll be she loved that," Lilian said, sounding a little defeated. She slumped down onto the bench and reached out to open a bottle of water.

"It wasn't like that." Lilian raised an eyebrow at him and he chuckled. "Okay, we're talking about Torrie, it was exactly like that. I guess I just figured there was something up with it and I wanted to be prepared."

"Thank you."

"It's nothing."

"No, Dave, it's something." She smiled at him, feeling a little self-conscious under his intense gaze. She cleared her throat and began picking through the food on the table. The ate in companionable silence, occasionally glancing at each other, but mostly watching what their friends were up to on the water.

"It happened when I was eight," Lilian said eventually. "We were on a family holiday with my aunt and uncle and some of my cousins. We were staying out by the coast and we'd walked along the cliffs together, just us kids. I was the youngest and I didn't want to be left out." She glanced over at him, to find that he was just watching her, not pushing for more. "I looked up to them all so much. So when they all decided to jump off some rocks into a small pool, I thought it'd be okay. I went last and, just as I jumped, a wave came crashing over the rocks and I got sucked under. I wasn't breathing when they pulled me to shore…I just really don't like water."

Dave nodded. "Okay."

Somehow, it wasn't what she'd expected him to say, but when he placed his hand over hers and squeezed, she realised it was all she wanted to hear.

"So," Dave said after a moment. "You and Dawn broke John's bed."

"What? We did not!"

"Lilian…you guys are in the room next to mine. I heard you from the minute Dawn fell out of bed and threatened to kill you."

Lilian's eyes widened. "Oh…right…well…"

"And if you didn't, you might need to explain that painful kick at the breakfast table this morning."

"Oh, yeah," she said, blushing. "Sorry about that."

Dave shrugged. "No problem. I'm just glad you weren't anything more…pointy."

She smiled. "Yeah, that would have been bad."

"Just promise me one thing."

"Sure."

"If this turns into another Maria/Rob thing, I knew _nothing about it._"

"Deal." They grinned at each other and when he glanced briefly at their hands, she realised that she was playing with his fingers. Not sure what to do now that she'd noticed, she decided to do nothing.

"So…you wanna help us get Lita laid?"

His eyes widened.

"I meant with John!"

"_Oh-_kay."

"Is there any way I can get myself out of this conversation?"

Dave smirked. "I can think of one, but you might hit me."

"I might…but then again, I might not."

She wasn't sure how to decipher his look, but it was at that moment that they heard a scream from the ocean.

xxxxx

"I need this man to tear all my clothes off."

John smirked and glanced at Dawn. "Gee, if I'd'a known all I had to do to get that kind of attention was scream like a girl, I'd'a done it a long time ago."

"You did it this morning," Dawn pointed out.

"So it only gets ya hot when it's Randy?"

"When you can pull off a move like that on water skis, I'll do you, until then, sorry."

"Hey, Dawn, you remember when Torrie called you a slut…?" Lita asked, trailing off. Dawn flipped her off and Lita blew her a kiss.

"He knows I'm not being serious."

"Damn," Randy said, running a towel through his hair. "Does that mean I'm not getting laid tonight?"

Dawn winked. "You never know, you might get lucky."

"Are Dave and Lilian holding hands?" Lita asked as they walked up the dock towards their friends.

"Well, they ain't now," John pointed out as their friends jumped apart. "You might wanna talk louder next time; I don' think Japan heard you."

"Oh, look!" Dawn laughed and turned around, hiding her face in Randy's still wet chest. "Dave's got fans!"

Sure enough, a small group of young girls had crowded the wrestler, sectioning Lilian off to one side. They were squealing loudly and Dave looked very uncomfortable.

"Man, I'd forgotten about that," Randy said, chuckling. "He has a fan club here."

"You're shittin' me. Seriously?" John laughed.

Randy shrugged. "Well, they're all hot."

"And look about fifteen," Lita pointed out.

Randy shrugged. "They're hot."

Dawn stepped back and crossed her arms, staring up at him with a pointed look. "Remember that sex we were planning to have... ever again?"

"Again?" Lita asked.

"It's a figure of speech."

John and Lita exchanged a look. "No, it ain't."

"Is there any way for me to get out of this conversation alive?" Randy asked.

"Well, we should probably go help Dave out," Lita pointed out.

"Yeah, let's do that." He smiled weakly at Dawn who rolled her eyes and followed him.

"What was that all about?" John asked and Lita shook her head.

"You got me. Oh, my God," Lita said with a laugh. "Dave looks so embarrassed."

"He really hates this stuff." John shook his head. "And I'm sorry if this gets me hit, but I ain't gettin' any anywhere else, so I figure I'm allowed to point out that Randy's right, those girls are _hot_."

"And fifteen."

"Yeah…" John sighed. "We got to go to the crappy town where _I'm_ a hero."

Lita glanced up at him, rolling her eyes. He stuck out his bottom lip and a moment later she was laughing.

"You're really pathetic, you know that?" she asked, slipping her hand through his arm.

"You're the one who offered to sleep wit' me for the rest of the week."

"I offered you a _spare bed_. I can always rescind that offer, you know."

"But you won't."

"Oh, really?" she asked. "You're very sure of yourself, that's not an attractive quality in a man, you know."

He grinned, his dimples showing full force. "Yeah, but ya think I'm cute."

"I am so never living that down, am I?"

"Not a chance."

xxxxx

**End of Part Seven**

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_Quotes Counter: 37/63_

Hope you enjoyed. Hopefully I'll get something up before I go away, but if not, when I get back.


	8. Chapter 8

I'm supposed to be writing my entry to the Lita/John and Lita/Randy ficathon and suddenly my Cabin Fever muses strike. I'm not exactly complaining, because this should have been updated _ages_ ago, but come on, muses, give me a break! I have a deadline for this ficathon! Bah!

Anyway, so sorry for the delay with this one. I hope you enjoy

xxxxx

**Part Eight**

xxxxx

"So was the entire basis of this week to get us drunk?" Lita enquired, looking at John through the bottom of her empty glass.

"Nope," he said with a smirk. "Idea was to get ya drunk and into my bed." He winked at her and she giggled (a testament to the five shots, the three bottles of beer, and the few glasses of wine she'd already consumed).

"See, that plan has a flaw, mister."

"Really," he said, leaning towards her. "An' what exactly would that be?"

She grinned and leaned closer to him so that their noses were almost touching. "I'd have to be able to make it to the bed. I'm now too drunk for that."

"I got muscles a plenty, I'd be happy to carry you."

"I thought you were only semi-muscular?"

"I thought you disagreed."

"You think?"

"Oh, my _God_," Dawn cried, causing them to jump apart. "You guys are revolting. Just screw already and get it over with."

"If I could move, I'd kill you now," Lita said, still smiling despite the situation and it was at that point that John realised just _how_ drunk she was.

"You need food," he said, shoving the half empty pizza box in her direction.

Lita wrinkled up her nose and picked up a slice, looking at it as if it was growing mould. "I think it died."

"No," Dawn said looking over her friend's shoulder. "That's the veggie one we got for Lil."

"Funny. You're a funny girl, Dawnie."

"I will hurt you if you call me that again."

Lita just smirked at her and tried to take a bite from the large piece of pizza she had picked up. Tried, because she was holding it above her head and attempting to catch the end of it (which was covered in dried up strings of cheese that were swinging in opposite directions).

"My food is problematic," she said seriously, a small pout on her face, and John laughed. Finally she just chomped her mouth around the bottom and ended up with cheese stuck to her face.

"Now that's attractive."

"You think I'm gorgeous, you want to date me…" Lita sang around her mouth full of food. She was grinning wildly at him and he just smiled at her in a way that made her think he knew something she didn't. Either that or it was the alcohol impairing her judgement.

"Time to play games!" Dawn yelled, picking up the half empty bottle of tequila. "We made it back to the cabin in one piece and we had fun today, it's time to have a little more."

"Dawn, do you _remember_, the last time you tried to get drunk people to play games?" Lilian asked innocently. "You nearly broke Edge."

Dawn snorted. "No, honey, that was you and that was _after_ you went back to your hotel room."

"You're just jealous because I was getting some and you were listening to Maria bitch about Rob all night," the blonde said smugly.

"So we just don't play Twister this time," Lita interrupted before Dawn could start a full on argument.

"Truth or Dare?" Randy asked.

"What are you, five?"

"You're the one who wants to play games, Dawn," Randy said, almost snidely and Lita frowned before deciding that it was just the alcohol making her hear things.

"Fine, we can play I Never."

"You can go first," Lilian said, lining up their shot glasses.

"Fine." Dawn smiled as Dave took the tequila from her, figuring he was the least drunk and would be less likely to spill the entire bottle. "Ready?" They all nodded. "I have never…worn handcuffs." Dawn finished her statement by taking a shot.

"Gee, I've never been in trouble with the law before," John said, smiling and taking a drink.

"I haven't," Lilian said with a faux innocent smile, before taking a shot.

"The idea is to win, Dawn," Lita said, laughing and taking a shot.

"Well, that depends on your idea of _winning_. I intend to get drunk…_er_. So, if I lie on my turns, I get more alcohol."

"Why are we playing games again?" Randy asked. "Why can't we just drink and have a good time."

"It's called 'getting to know each other better'," Dawn clarified.

"I can think of more exciting ways to do that," the Legend Killer said with a smirk.

"Well, not with me," Dawn said. "Didn't I tell you, I married Cena this morning? We eloped below deck."

"And who married you, the mop?"

"No. _Captain_ Jack Sparrow. And if a Captain marries you, it's legal."

John, Randy, and Dave exchanged glances, before Dave leaned over to Lilian and asked, "How much has she _had_?"

"Oh, she's not wasted. Johnny Depp lives in her head."

"Okay…_what_?"

Lita laughed. "It's a long story involving a late night viewing of _Pirates of the Caribbean_ and an accidental fry up of magic mushrooms."

"And it was _so_ all Stacy's fault," Lilian said, shaking her head. "That girl is adorable, but _oh my God_ she can be stupid."

Dave smirked. "Something tells me there's more to this story."

"And you will never head about it." Lilian shook her head, smiling at him. "I think the alco-me-hol I have already consumed this week has made me divulge enough embarrassing moments for a life time."

"Yeah," Lita said seriously, "I think that we should try not to drink tomorrow. At all. Or I might need a new liver by the end of the week."

"You guys are being boring!" Dawn said, downing another shot of tequila and looking momentarily alarmed, almost as if it was about to come right back up. However, she looked less alarmed than Randy when he realised that, if she did throw up, he was the likely target.

"Dawn, you're supposed to wait until someone says something you've done before you drink."

Dawn sighed. "You weren't playing right. You were talking."

"Okay then," John started, "I have never been thrown out of a bar," he said, smirking at Randy. The Legend Killer took a drink and, surprisingly, so did Lilian. "What the fuck?" John cried, laughing incredulously.

"It was her fault!" the ring announcer cried, pointing at Lita.

"No, it was not! It was Trish's fault and, actually, I think Dawn started it."

"I could start a fight with a priest," Dawn said smugly.

"And your husband?" Lilian asked with a smirk at John.

"I fight with him sometimes, too."

Not liking where that conversation was leading and refusing to analyse why, Lita suddenly interrupted. "I have never…" she said, glaring slightly at Dawn. Her friend merely smirked and cocked an eyebrow that, to Lita, seemed to be mocking her. She smiled slowly, "I have never been caught using my vibrator by my _mother_."

xxxxx

"Well…" Dave cleared his throat. "That got interesting pretty quickly."

"Pretty safe to say," John said, smirking. The game of I Never had quickly disintegrated into a competition to see who could embarrass who the most, by forcing each other into admitting the most embarrassing, and in many cases surprising, things their friends had done.

John was still determined that he was going to find out whatever had happened that had got Lita detained in London Airport that the redhead was decidedly tight-lipped (and clearly mortified) about.

Frowning, John realised that it had been a while since he had seen the redhead and he leaned backwards, lying down so that he could see into the hallway leading to Lita's room.

"She's still not back yet?" Lilian asked and John turned to see Dawn laughing at the ring announcer.

"God, Lil, how drunk are you that you only just noticed?"

"I noticed _before_, I just only just said so."

"You just only just, did you?" Dave asked, smiling indulgently, and the woman turned to glare at him…although, given her drunken state, it was more of a pout than anything else.

"Hurry _up_, Randy!" Dawn cried suddenly. "You've been thinking for_ever_."

"Orton doesn't know how to think."

"Screw you, Cena."

John smirked. "Didn't we cover this the other day? You're really not my type."

"If I recall," Dave said, smiling, and clearly enjoying that he was the most sober. "You _actually_ told him to get in line. Meaning you must have meant to get to him at some point."

"That's just _wrong_," John said, shuddering.

"And," Randy interjected. "You must be drunker than you thought; Cena propositioned me." 

"Are you homophobic?" Lilian demanded of John.

"No, but I'm not gay and even if I was I'd rather screw a goat than Orton."

For some reason, Lilian seemed to think this was the funniest thing she'd heard all night and disintegrated in a hysterical fit of giggles. The others watched her bemusedly, before Randy suddenly snapped his fingers.

"Got it!" He grinned and leaned towards Dawn, waiting for absolute silence. "There was a young man from Nantucket, his penis he knew how to-"

"Oh, God! Shut up!" Lilian cried, covering her ears.

Dawn laughed and leaned forward to kiss Randy's forehead with a loud smacking noise. "You so lose that one."

"It was a limerick!" Randy cried. "What rule did I break?"

"It was meant to be about _you_."

Randy wiggled his eyebrows. "Who says it wasn't going to be?"

"Why, did the nice man from Nantucket show you how he-"

"Okay, I changed my mind," Randy said, frowning. "I'll happily lose this one."

"I win." Dawn announced.

John rolled his eyes and hauled himself to his feet, shaking his head at Randy. "Would be you'd get your most poetical about your pecker."

Dawn snorted and Randy raised an eyebrow, lying down so that his head was in her lap. "Don't know why you're laughing; you were being pretty poetical about it yourself last night. What rhymes with 'Oh, God!' again?"

John laughed, not waiting around to hear what Dawn would come up with as a response, but laughter, punctuated an indignant splutter from Randy made him decide to ask Dave later. He headed towards Lita's room. Well, he supposed, it was also his room now. The redhead had disappeared to the bathroom after her rather bizarre limerick stating that she was 'pretty neat-a' and hadn't come back. Given how drunk she was, and the fact that she had walked into the wall on her way out, John was beginning to worry.

He entered the room and, hearing movement in the bathroom, he crossed towards it, figuring that it was open, so Lita was unlikely to be on the toilet anymore. Well, he hoped. He wasn't entirely sober himself and he didn't really think about it too much. He entered the room to find the redhead bent over the toilet.

"Woah!" he cried, swinging around and clutching onto the doorway. He took a deep breath and resolved not to turn around again.

"John," Lita said, almost imploring him to look.

He. Would. Not. Turn. Around.

"Yeah?"

"I think I'm nekkid."

John nodded. "I think ya are," he said, clearing his throat. He walked back into the room, picking up her dressing gown from her bed and re-entered the bathroom, trying to make sure his eyes didn't wander. He covered her up as quickly as possible and tried to sober himself with the fact that she'd spent the last twenty minutes emptying her stomach and not on the fact that she was completely and utterly butt naked.

"You okay?" he asked softly and she frowned, turning around to look at him. She opened her mouth to answer, but lurched so suddenly towards the toilet again that he jumped back. Wincing, because he knew she was clearly _not_ having a good time anymore and he knew exactly what _that_ felt like, he reached out and pulled her hair away from her face, rubbing one hand against her back until she settled down enough to sit back.

She whimpered and he stood up, reaching for the cup at the sink and filling it with water. He sat down and handed it to her to rinse out her mouth. When she seemed settled enough, he leaned against the bath and pulled her gently, shifting until she was sitting between his legs, resting against him.

"Feel better?"

"A little. But I don't think I'm partic'larly 'tractive anymore," she mumbled.

"Lita, you could be hung-over, sleep deprived, ill and injured all at the same time and you'd still be the most attractive woman I've ever met."

She didn't answer and he figured that, maybe, he should have kept his damn mouth shut. There was something to be said for sobriety. But then, he wasn't sure he wouldn't have said it when he was one hundred percent sober, as well.

"Johnny?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I am all at once."

He grinned. "And I meant it."

"Oh." There was a slight pause and he was just beginning to feel uncomfortable when she asked, "So…you think I'm pretty?"

John smiled and, knowing that, even drunk, she was likely to close off if she realised exactly how pretty he thought she was, said playfully, "Were I unwed, I would take you in a manly fashion." He looked down at her awkwardly trying to see her face as she turned to gaze up at him, still leaning against his chest.

"'Cause I'm pretty?" she asked quietly, a smile playing at her lips, and he almost allowed himself to believe that he might have got through to her anyway.

"Yeah, Lita," he said softly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "'Cause you're pretty."

She smiled at him then frowned, looking guilty. "John."

"Yeah?"

"I threw up on your bed."

xxxxx

**End of Part Eight**

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_Quotes Counter: 44/63_

_Go on, click the wee button and review, you know you want to :)  
_


	9. Chapter 9

**Author Note:** I am so sorry for the delay on this fic, I realise it's been ages. Hope you enjoy.

xxxxx

**Part Nine**

xxxxx

"I'm never drinking again."

The mumble coming from his chest caused John to crack open an eye. A choice he instantly regretted when the light seemed to have a direct link to every pain-causing nerve ending in his _entire body_. He hissed as he moved his neck, realising (after a few further moments of confusion) that he'd fallen asleep in the bathroom with Lita lying on top of him. To say that he'd never dreamed of sleeping with the redhead would be a blatant _lie_, but this hadn't exactly been on the list of possible ways he would have liked it to happen.

"God," he said with a groan. "Next time, we don't fall asleep on the floor."

"Clearly you didn't hear me," Lita said, whimpering. "I'm never drinking again; there will be no next time."

"Sure."

There was a sonic boom from the other room, or rather what sounded like one to John and Lita, closely followed by a chirpy voice exclaiming, "Wakey, wakey, rise and shine!"

They both looked at the door in disbelief as Lilian bounded into the small bathroom with a wide eyed smile. "Ouch, not having a good morning, sweetie?"

Lita groaned, whilst John opened and closed his mouth a few times, clearly unable to form the words his head thought he should say.

"I…"John turned to Lita. "What?"

"So," Lilian continued, oblivious to John's dilemma. "I hope you don't mind, but I cleaned your room this morning. _Someone_," she looked pointedly at Lita, "threw up on John's bed, so I changed the sheets, put on a wash and tidied a bit."

"Did I miss a day?" John asked, still confused. "What's the time?"

"It's noon," Lilian supplied.

Lita, who had given up trying to move, snuggled deeper into his embrace. "You clearly paid no attention the other morning. This is Lilian's idea of a hangover. The drunker she is the night before, the perkier she is in the morning."

"How is that fair?"

"It's not," Lita supplied. "We throw up, get headaches, stomach cramps and generally feel like shit and Lilian wakes up at the butt crack of dawn possessed by Mary-_frickin'_-Poppins."

John looked at Lilian in askance…or perhaps pain, he wasn't sure what was the top priority and he had no control over his facial muscles yet. "You had a whole day before noon."

Lilian grinned. "Who wants food? I made pancakes and a full breakfast."

Lita turned an alarming shade of green and lunged for the toilet.

"Okay, so…just come through when you're ready."

xxxxx

"Is she always like this?" Randy asked, a hint of fear in his voice.

Dawn glowered at the petite ring announcer who was _baking, for crying out loud,_ and nodded.

"It's kinda scary," Dave said warily and they all nodded.

"Are John and Lita still not up yet?" the ring announcer asked with a tut. "Maybe I should go-"

"I think I should go," Dave said, standing up quickly. "I think you might be a little too…perky for them this morning."

"That's his diplomatic way of telling you you're an overly cheerful _sociopath_." Dawn growled and picked up a piece of bacon to gnaw on, hoping that she'd be able to keep it down. Lilian had cooked enough food to feed a small army and, whilst Dave and Randy had both eaten _a lot_, Dawn never could eat hung over.

Dave left the room quickly, before Lilian could object. She shrugged and began to mix her muffins again.

"So, what are we doing today?" Lilian asked excitedly. "I thought we could go paintballing, like Randy suggested."

"Oh, God, make her stop," Lita pleaded, entering the room. John and Dave followed slowly and they joined Randy and Dawn at the table.

Dawn continued to glare at Lilian. "Stop being _cheerful_, stop being _happy_ and stop being so damned _annoying_. Please!! You're like a-a-a frickin' priest! Stop trying to convert us, we're content being in crappy moods this morning. Go…find some heathens to brainwash!" Dawn punctuated her outburst by dropping her forehead onto the table and then grunting in pain.

"Oh, I've got heathens aplenty right here." Lilian smiled. "Who wants pancakes?" she asked John and Lita. Lita seemed to think about it for a moment, before nodding slowly. John moved to get up and retrieve the food, but Lilian held up a hand. "No, no, I got it."

"Lilian," John said as she dished out the pancakes. "You're really kind of scary like this."

She grinned. "I know, isn't it great?"

xxxxx

"I don't understand," Lita said, turning her head sideways. "It that…"

"I have no idea," John said, frowning and tilting his head in the same direction. "Who would pay that much money for...some squiggles on a piece of canvas."

"It's art, people," Dawn said, smiling. "Isn't it cool?"

"What is it?" Lita asked.

"It's an expressive piece," the brunette said, rolling her eyes. "It's about what you see in it. Take from it what you will…"

"My two year old niece coulda done that," John said and Dawn glared at him.

"I don't know why you bothered asking to come with us."

Lita frowned. "I'm confused. No, wait. I... I think maybe you're confused. You _told_ us we were coming. We weren't given a choice."

"Where are all the naked statues?" Randy asked, coming up behind them and looking around in the faint hope that he might find something recognisable.

"You're like a trained ape... Without the training," Dawn hissed, smiling apologetically at the old couple glaring in their direction. "This is a cultured place and you're all making a mockery of it!"

"We're sorry," Lita said. She knew her friend loved art and often wondered if there was something she was missing, because she could never see what Dawn claimed was right in front of her. Whilst walking aimlessly through the gallery with John had been amusing, she had enjoyed the last museum visit she'd been on with Dawn a lot more. The woman had walked them from piece to piece, explaining the energy and imagery behind each work of art until Lita could almost see something herself. Getting caught up in Dawn's enthusiasm was an incredible experience.

That said, she was hungover and decidedly not in the mood for art. "Listen," Lita said softly. "We don't want to ruin this for you. John and I are going to get some coffee in the café over the road. We'll just meet you back at the car at four."

Dawn sighed. "Okay. Randy and I will let Dave and LIlian know in case they want to join you."

"I was actually thinking I might go with…" Randy trailed off at the look Dawn was giving him. "…you and help find Lilian and Dave."

"We'll see you later." Lita grabbed John's arm and hightailed it for the entrance. John was chuckling and she grinned at him. "Poor Randy."

"Poor Randy nothin'," John said with a grin. "He wants to impress Dawn, he can suck it up."

"And you don't want to impress Dawn?" Lita questioned.

He grinned and threw an arm around her shoulder. "Nah, I got a thing for redheads."

xxxxx

"So, seriously," Lilian asked. "Paintballing tomorrow, right? Because I get that you guys all feel like crap today-"

"Do you?" Lita asked, almost threateningly. "Do you really?"

Lilian rolled her eyes. "It's your own fault. I fail to understand why people who get horrendous hangovers would put themselves through that voluntarily. Just don't drink. Or don't drink as much. I don't drink very often and look at me," the blonde finished cheerfully.

Lita turned to John. "If I am ever that cheerful, shoot me."

Dave snorted into his coffee and Lilian glared at him. "So," the man said, clearing his throat and hoping to distract the irritated ring announcer. "How long are Randy and Dawn likely to be?"

"If Dawn has her way," Lita said, "chances are a while. She could spend a whole week in an art gallery with no sleep and still not be finished."

"Like you're any different when it comes to places that involve animals."

"Touché, Miss Museum."

"Fine, fine."

"So," John said with a smile. "You're all very cultured. Dave, we got our work cut out for us."

Lita rolled her eyes. "Horse farms and animal shelters are hardly cultured places."

John shrugged. "But you love 'em."

"Yeah," she smiled. "Yeah, I do."

They stared at each other, smiling and enjoying the charged silence until Lilian giggled and Dave cleared his throat, causing them to jerk and look at their coffees instead.

"Paintballing sounds good for tomorrow, Lil," Lita said, hoping to draw attention away from whatever it was that was happening between her and John Cena – something she was currently trying to remain in denial about and refusing to analyse.

"Yeah, sounds good," John echoed. "But I was thinkin' that maybe we should _not _do the gender split this time."

"That's because we wiped the floor with you," Lilian crowed gleefully.

"So how do we split it then?" Dave asked, frowning. "Because if we get to choose, I'm picking the little one," he said grinning and inclining his head toward Lilian."

"That's because you know I'm awesome."

"Yes, you're very talented," Dave said with a grin and John chuckled.

"I'm sure she has many exciting talents." Lita smacked him on the head at the same time as Lilian kicked him and he yelped, jumping up and smacking his knee on the underside of the table. "That was unnecessary!"

"Yes," Lita agreed, glaring at him. "Completely unnecessary."

"I'm guessin' you ain't talking about the violence."

"Wow, what do you know, you can be intelligent."

John risked a small smile. "Don't spread it abound. I got a reputation to uphold."

Lita's lips twitched and she shook her head, rolling her eyes. John took that as his queue to turn to Lilian with a puppy dog expression and apologise.

"Just remember that Lita and I are not just a couple of guys."

"I ain't likely to be thinkin' that," John muttered and glanced at Lita. "So, teams?" he said, not letting another awkward silence fall.

"Well, what about you and Lita against me and Dave and we split up Dawn and Randy?" Lilian suggested and her friend grinned.

"I think Dawn would like the chance to nail Randy," Lita said, groaning when she realised that all of the others had frozen and were just looking at her. "Oh, you know what I meant. Can we get our minds out of the gutter, please?"

"Anything you say, Lita," John said, grinning.

"You're impossible."

"And you love it."

Lita didn't say anything, but John thought that, maybe, he might have hit quite close to the mark. Or maybe that was just wishful thinking.

xxxxx

"So I get to choose between the short violent one, or the angry, violent readhead?" Randy asked, looking vaguely terrified.

"Dude, it was either that or put 'em on the _same_ team."

"Why can't we do that?" Randy asked. "And I can be on that team."

"You are such a baby," Dawn said, rolling her eyes.

"You know what, I'm okay with that idea," Lita said, her eyes sparkling as she looked at John challengingly.

"That so, Red?"

"It is, indeed, Cena."

"So, what; me, Dawn and Dave against the three of you?"

"Yes," Randy said, his eyes hopeful. "That's perfect."

Dave shrugged. "It's okay with me."

Lilian smiled. "You think you can handle us?"

"I think so."

"Great," Dawn said, clasping her hands together. "So I get the two hot guys and Randy gets the two violent fireballs, neither of whom have ever handled a firearm before and one of whom can't hit a target more than three feet away from her. Great idea, Randy."

Dave and John started to laugh as realisation set in on Randy's face; Lita and Lilian might scare the crap out of him, but that was no use if they couldn't aim their paintball guns.

The Legend Killer groaned and put his face in his hands. "This is just not fair."

"I wouldn't discount us just yet," Lita said smugly and glanced at Lilian, who just continued to stare at their 'opponents' with a serene smile on her face that had even Dawn looking rather disconcerted after a few moments.

"What haven't you told me?" the brunette asked and her friends said nothing. "No, I mean it, what haven't you told me?"

Lita faked a yawn and stood, stretching. "I think I might turn in. Good night guys."

"Me too," Lilian said, standing and exiting the living room (where they had been sitting since polishing off their dinner) with her. They ignored the shouts of their friend, as she demanded answers, and parted way at the bottom of the stairs.

Lita made her way down the hallway towards her room, stepping inside with a smug smile on her face; a smug smile that disappeared the instant that she spotted John's bag sitting at the foot of the bed next to her. She was sharing a room with John Cena.

She wasn't as oblivious as he friends seemed to think she was; she knew that John looked at her differently than her other male friends, but more than that, she knew how it made her feel. It confused her more than anything. John Cena wasn't the kind of guy that was supposed to give her butterflies, he wasn't the kind of guy she had dreamed of whenever she realised that whatever guy she was dating at the time wasn't her Prince Charming. He was a loudmouthed, arrogant, teasing, smirking, sometimes goofy guy that made her heart skip the occasional beat and he kept looking at her like she held the answers to the universe. She didn't want that responsibility and she didn't want to lose him when it all inevitably came crashing down around them.

_Besides_, she rationalised, _it's not like I couldn't be making this all up. He might just be teasing and having fun, he might just be infatuated because he can't have the person he really wants, he might just…I have to stop thinking about him._

She shook her head and stood away from the door, grabbing her (cleanly laundered – thanks to Lilian) nightwear from the bottom of her bed and headed into the bathroom. She intended to be asleep when John came in, it would alleviate any possible awkwardness and give her the space to pretend that nothing was changing between them. No matter how much a part of her wanted it to.

She changed quickly and brushed her teeth, hurrying into the other room and freezing on the spot when she saw John Cena standing shirtless at the foot of his bed. She stood in place, just staring at his back, watching the muscles move and twitch as he rooted through his bag for something. Whatever thoughts she had been having about him promptly left her head…along with all other coherent thought, as he turned to face her.

"Hey, you done in there?"

She continued to stare, apparently having also lost the ability to construct a coherent sentence.

"Lita?" he asked, concern lacing his words. "You okay?"

"Y-Yes. Fine. Fine. I'm fine."

"Okay," John said, a lazy smile touching his face. "If you say so."

"I do. I say so. Yes. I say so. I'm…"

"Fine?" He asked, hiding a smile.

"Yes. Exactly. Fine." _Moron!_ She screamed at herself internally, smiling awkwardly as John brushed past her, causing her to jump as his arm grazed hers. She heard him chuckle as the bathroom door closed and she let out a low growl, throwing off her bed sheets and climbing into bed, pulling the covers up to her chin and her pillow over her head.

After a few minutes of trying to steady her breathing and get rid the image of him standing in her room shirtless, Lita whimpered in frustration. "I hate him," she muttered and closed her eyes, completely resolved to ignore him when he came back into the room. "I really hate him."

"No, Lita," came a soft reply, his mouth close enough that she could feel his breath on her arm. "I really don't think you do."

Her breath caught in her throat and she could almost feel his smile as he gently kissed her elbow. A moment later she heard the click of the light going off and the soft sounds of him getting into bed and settling down.

Just as she thought it might be safe to come out of her cocoon, she heard a gentle, "Good night, Lita," that almost made her revise everything she had talked herself into believing about how he might feel about her.

Almost.

But then, maybe, that was enough for now.

xxxxx

**TBC…**

xxxxx

_**Quotes Count: 48/63**_

**  
AN:** Okay, so the inspiration for Lilian's hangover comes from yours truly. I could drink a sailor under the table and then wake up at 9am (I made Lilian a little earlier, since she's so chirpy in this one) bright eyed and ready to be manically useful! My friends find it very annoying. I've only once thrown up due to alcomehol and…well…yeah, I deserved that one. But we don't talk about that night. _EVER_. (wait, actually, make that twice. Don't ask about my work's leaving night…)

Go on, hit the review button, you know you want to ;)


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